Genderlect Theory

Genderlect is a term used by Griffin (2000) to label Tannen's theory of cross-cultural communication between men and women. He explains that "masculine and feminine styles of discourse are best viewed as two distinct cultural dialects rather than as inferior or superior ways of speaking (Griffin, 2000, p. 436). This theory focuses on Gender and Communication. Tannen insists that there are gender difference in the way we speak. However, neither of these genders are inferior or superior in the way they speak. Rather, masculine and feminine styles of discourse is best viewed as two distinctive cultural dialects.

Below is an example that I have taken from Griffin (2012). It shows a conversation between Harry and Sally in an airplane five years later after they last met.

Sally: Well it’s wonderful. It’s nice to see you embracing life in this manner.

Harry: Yeah, plus, you know, you just get to a certain point where you get tired of the whole thing.

Sally: What whole thing?

Harry: The whole life of a single guy thing. You meet someone, you have the safe lunch, you decide you like each other enough to move on to dinner. You go dancing, . . . go back to her place, you have sex, and the minute you’re finished you know what goes through your mind? How long do I have to lie here and hold her before I can get up and go home? Is thirty seconds enough?

Sally: [Incredulous tone] That’s what you’re thinking? Is that true?

Harry: Sure. All men think that. How long do you like to be held afterward? All night, right? See that’s the problem. Somewhere between thirty seconds and all night is your problem.

Sally: I don’t have a problem.

Harry: Yeah you do.

The above conversation shows that there is a difference in the way that they both think. Both parties think of sex differently. Both Sally and Harry disagree with one another as they find the other's view 'alien and threatening'. Men and women have their own needs and wants. Obviously, Sally is a woman that wants intimacy whereas Harry is a man who craves for independence. This is where the rapport and report concept is mentioned. Women's rapport talk seek 'connection' and men's report talk focuses on status and independence. Women engage in communication because they seek (Tannen, 1990) to develop and maintain relationships with other individuals. Men would only do so because they see it for their own advantage.

As for this theory, I agree that women and men do communicate differently. However, it all comes down to one's understanding and interpretation of what the other party is trying to say.

References:

Griffin, E. (2000). A First Look At Communication Theory (4th Ed). Boston, MA: McGraw Hill

Griffin, E. (2012). A First Look At Communication Theory (8th Ed). New York: McGraw Hill

Tannen, D. (1990). You Just Don't Understand. New York: Ballantine