Social Penetration Theory

This theory was formed by psychology professors - Irwin Altman and Dalmas Taylor in their attempt to describe the dynamics of relational closeness. They compared people to onions. Social penetration is the "process of developing deeper intimacy with one another through mutual self-disclosure and other forms of vulnerability" (Griffin, 2012).

I very much like this theory because it is easily relatable. When I think of this theory, I think of my friends - both close friends and friends I talk to casually. We were strangers beforehand. I believe everyone has experienced it before, where we developed 'deeper intimacy' with another one by disclosing one self. In other words, this theory makes us understand how we have relationships with everyone and it involves someone's inner personality. In getting to know someone, there is 4 stages that one has to go through. According to Roloff & Miller (1987), there are the "orientation, exploratory affective exchange, affective exchange [and] stable exchange" (p. 259).

An example would be a movie called Friends With Benefits (2011) starring Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis. It shows how 2 strangers knew each other due to work purposes become fast friends and soon became attached to one another at the end of the film. During the first time they met each other, they got to know one another's attitudes and personalities. They voluntary shared each other's personal history, preferences values and secrets with one another. This is what we call self-disclosure. However, a self-disclosure can be divided into 2: Breadth and Depth.

In this film we can see that their relationship development go through both breadth and depth self-disclosure. For example: In terms of depth, Jamie shared with Dylan her sexual secrets such as not being comfortable in making love with the lights on. In terms of breadth, they are able to communicate with one another in just about anything and I believe at one point these 2 experienced a speed penetration because they barely knew each other but they tell each other too much information too fast. I am saying this because yes, the 2 characters went through the orientation stage and exploratory effective stage sooner than expected. Not long afterwards, they experienced the affective stage where there are touching and kissing (intimate scene).

However, relationships may depenetrate. This is where one slowly removes oneself from a relationship. The 'cooling off'. This might occur when one experiences things that make them to not want to befriend with one person. The argument here is: Does all relationship go through termination?

Personally, I would say no because if perceived mutual benefits is much more than the costs of greater vulnerability then I believe that social penetration will continue. This can be analyzed using the 'Cost-benefit' analysis. If there is trust, support, companionship and happiness then social penetration may proceed. Lastly, it is not impossible that all relationships go through social penetration.

References:

Ayla Malai Abdullah, Sharifah. (2012). Lecture slides. AC-1201 Introduction to Communication. Universiti Brunei Darussalam

Griffin, E. (2012). A first look at communication theory (8th Edition). New York: McGraw-Hill

IMDb (2012) Plot Summary for Friends With Benefits. Retrieved April 15, 2012 from http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1632708/